I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
