I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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