her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
