problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
