ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize