a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize