wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
