You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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