I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
