just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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