I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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