dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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