Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
