Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's official drugs can't kill me
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
