nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
