We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
