the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
