dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
