I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
