I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
