Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
