R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
