So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
