is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
