apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
