is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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