WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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