i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
