i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i dont even know how to be here
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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