I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
vagina is talking i cant
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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