the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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