She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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