I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
