watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
