i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
