I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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