Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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