Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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