$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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