i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
