Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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