god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
