you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
