i permit you to call me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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