My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
