Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
