pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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