try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
