was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
