I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
