i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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