They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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