You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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