Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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