After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
