I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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