I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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