We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
