that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
