I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
