i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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