It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
